Tuesday, November 14, 2017
Day Diary 1
5:15 Think my alarm went off- look at FitBit to see real time, roll back over
5:30 Alarm- I reach for my phone where I’ve started leaving it on the floor so I have to get up and acknowledge my alarm. I sink further back into my bed
5:43 Crawl out of bed, downstairs, wash face, coffee- Keurig w/ almond milk, no food yet, grab textbook to take upstairs, lay down in bed to pull up Spotify weekly mix- I pick something mellow and scroll for the news on Twitter. I skim some flash poetry that pops up on my feed.
6:00 Phone Reminder: DAY DIARY. Think- how did I almost forget? I remember setting the alarm and thinking that 6AM would be the earliest I would possibly be up. Moment of thinking about how waking up will be a part of my life until I die… it’s unavoidable. I start diary, check weather- fog, try to plan day’s schedule, make bed, tidy room, dress in loungewear, work on to-do list, planner, keep missing my phone which is across the room plugged into my speaker- supposed to help me focus.
6:20 charge FitBit, history of the modern middle east homework- read and take notes, mind focuses on work
7:00 break to check email, send documentary to classmates- undedicated ppl won’t watch anything that long, so it feels like a waste of time
7:20 NPR podcasts through headphones while I make two eggs for breakfast, throw some guac, salsa, and shredded cheese on sourdough with the egg. More news on Roy Moore- exhausted by how not shocked I am. News about reevaluating who has the authority to launch nuclear bombs. hm.
7:40 clean up kitchen, greet A who comes out to make breakfast and commiserate over how torturous Tuesdays are. prep to leave for the day. House smells like A’s coffe—pumpkin spice maybe? pack bag and decide to just come home after work
7:55 walk to work, frost, bright sunrise. I take a deep breath on the front stoop to ground myself. I’m wearing tennis shoes which is unusual for me. My feet have been aching.
8:02 Less late than usual for clock-in. P is on the phone. I check the back, move some towels from the washer to the drier and see an article on Caradi B’s “Bodak Yellow.” There’s a yellow spot on my sweatshirt. The phone rings again. I work on my journal for English class, fold basketball practice game gear, watch video about making loofah soap. My boss: “It’s going to be a longgggg day.” She always says this. I try to scrub the yellow spots.
8:57 start homework again. coworker early. I feel slightly guilty for not leaving, but he’s early
9:38 clock out, walk home, warm coffee homework, snacks, light candle
11:00 change clothes, ready for the day after trying on several outfits. make wrap—lunch meat, honey mustard, spinach, homework and more lounging
1:00 walk to class, feeling distracted. Enjoy walking, but I wish I could multitask while enjoying it. It’s hard to feel like I’m wasting time.
1:23 meet group for weekly chat. Something about robots, research task, fill in the gaps on the task assignment for the quiz
2:00 class, laughter when I walk in, quiz, missed quiz Thursday for Atlanta, it sounds like it went badly. I’ll get a chance at it online. email from mom about grandma’s birthday dinner—applebees at 6. I have class and a meeting, but I want to try to go. I feel like my professor can see how tired my eyes are.
3:15 class ends, student center, AD search committee candidate review, move tables to plug in laptop, watch starbucks line for awhile, deeply debating buying one. a guy sits a few tables away with some weird facial hair, pretty lights hang in the food area, interesting candidate experiences- crisis management in the middle east, email, skim readings for night class
4:15 cave to starbucks—order a caramel macchiato for the extra sugar… it’s not my usual order. I hope it helps me not sleep. bathroom, lipstick, water.
5:00 “class” starts- tweet, kids with McDonalds, prof pays more attention to the kids, I get very frustrated. S asks us for a feminist perspective on the goings-on. I laugh at first and then get sad. I don’t have answers. Cardi B comes up in discussion. I eat a pistachio. Discuss Taylor Swift. Look up new album review. bleh. text mom- wish I was going to dinner and had skipped class.
6:03 class ends an hour and a half early. I complain to S. Mom says they’re still not seated. Walk with Erica to library. meet “Louis”? I recognize them from class. We sit. I text mom and ask her for wings. She tells me to fend for myself.
6:31 start on AD candidates again
7:08 walk to honors house for officer meeting, kind of late but other officers are later and upset. everyone is stressed. bad vibes. Season of Giving, NCHC, meeting planning, stretched-thin… my job to be peppy and composed. hard to not feel drained.
7:54 back for meeting, things are flustered, L keeps me calm. We regain composure and get pulled together. Nice get to know you moment with N and C. We come up with tips for visiting high school visitors. Talk about volunteering and issues coming up in the HC as well as event review. nothing too exciting. I accidentally said “she cut the cheese” in reference to taking cheese off the menu. everyone laughs, I dismiss the meeting.
9:04 quick post officer meeting because everyone is tired. I get flustered but ask if people are interested in individual meetings. we finish on a good note. I feel proud of them and send a message later telling them they’re all great.
9:45 J drives me home and talks about her leadership and growth and concern for other officers and students. Come home to talk with roommates A and R to decompress. A scrapbooks and makes brownies. We laugh about sorority stuff and personnel meetings. R tells us about how sick B’s dad is. He’s only 44. He could die. I think of my dad.
11:08 diary, homework, contacts and eyes hurt, email, SHC, attendance, volunteer, email, things that HS visitors should know is typed up and send onward. Everything blurs and time passes quickly.
12:00 maybe if I stand I can stay away to finish more work. prep a bit for bed to be comfortable
1:00 clean room, set alarm. It’s been a 20 hour day. I’m wired but exhausted. Wake up at 5:30? Maybe 6:00? I’ll decide in the morning. I set both alarms.
1:25 in bed. room is too warm. I think about my to do list while I fall asleep. I can’t stop picturing the brown paper and black lines. I fall asleep.