Everyday Life in Middletown
Diarist A02
Summer 2022 Directive
Topic: Leisure and vacation
The general question we want to hear from you about is: how does time off work for you?
Questions to consider:
How do your daily rhythms change on days off and weekends?
I sleep more/later and make a point of relaxing through the morning, e.g. cooking a larger breakfast—usually French toast—on days off. Lately have concentrated on not working on weekends, as well as evenings, but I still do some because a) I like it (or a least parts of it) and b) I can relax better if I knock some things off and feel in control of my workload as Monday approaches. At minimum I try to eat, read, exercise, do yard work/house work, and sleep a little more every weekend when I’m home.
How do your interactions with other people, including your family, shift during off-time?
I like to close a workday with a beer with friends, usually around once a week. That’s a way to socialize with work people in a more relaxed way.
To what extent are you able to “unplug” from work when you’re off? Is it difficult to do so? What makes it difficult?
I tend to let work bleed into free time, or at least I spend free time thinking about work. That’s also because of the nature of my job, parts of which, happily, are not far off from being my hobbies—mainly reading and writing. I don’t really have a conventional hobby such as stamp collecting or woodworking, that would occupy time and, more importantly, attention. This state of mind persists even during formal vacation time, although I’ve worked hard this summer to let things drop. That worked okay on my last week off, when I only did a few emails while riding in car on the way to a northern lake. (Don’t worry, it wasn’t while I was driving).
- gives me stick about being on work email on days off, but I like clearing things out rather than have them all waiting for at the start of a work day. The same dynamic happens at night. Here again, I’ve tried to make a point of not working at night if I can avoid it. I want to resist this cultish idea (mainly among educated people) that working a ton is a badge of honor.
I lump life into three buckets, two large and one small (more of a cup, really). The two large are for things I have to do and things I like to do. The smaller one is for things I think I ought to do. It’s not a clear-cut work vs. non-work division. For my paying job I have to grade papers, manage budget and go to meetings. In my role as a household member I have to mow the lawn, shop for groceries, do the dishes, pay bills, etc. I derive little satisfaction from these activities most of the time, whether I’m paid to do them or not. (I should note that even here there are gray areas. I enjoy grading a good paper, which sometimes happens, solving a bureaucratic puzzle, or digging a garden. These activities feel less like “work” because I derive a feeling of satisfaction from them. I guess, implicitly, I think of “work” as things a have to do but don’t really want to do.
The Things-I-Like-To-Do bucket includes exercise (especially playing basketball, until COVID happened), reading low and middlebrow fiction, drinking beer with friends, hiking with B. (and others). When our kids were younger and living at home, I had same two buckets but the Things-I-Have-To-Do bucket was larger.
Also residing in my head is a smaller Ought-To-Do category, which seems to involve consumption-oriented self-improvement activities that somehow seem tied to my status as an educated person. I should read more highbrow fiction and serious non-fiction that is not directly linked to my job. I should cook more elaborate, healthier meals. I should listen to classical music or jazz. Sometimes that stuff feels like work, an obligation, sometimes I like the elevated reading, cooking, music. This stuff resides somehow in between the Have-To Do and Like-To Do buckets.
How important is it for you to have clear boundaries between work and leisure? What are your strategies for doing so?
I discuss some of this in the previous response. I try to find leisure things that fully occupy my attention. Once, long ago, I had someone once tell me that playing basketball worked for me as a form of meditation because when I played I was fully absorbed in what I was doing and forgot about everything else. (Of course, that’s not the most practical or lifelong form of meditation. If I tried to play now it would just hurt and remind me that I’m getting older.) An engaging book or film can help with this, but it’s not the same because my involvement is more passive.
At the end of the night I like to read, or listen to, light fiction as a way of pulling me away from daily concerns. That works pretty well and usually helps me get to sleep.
What do you actually do with your time off? What do you wish you could do?
What I do: house and yard work (seasonally), read (non-work-related stuff, mostly fiction), exercise (I try and do at least one long bike ride or run every weekend when weather permits), socialize some, watch TV at night, especially sports and movies. (I don’t like to commit to series TV but will sometimes get into a one.) On vacation, we like to be active, usually hiking, while we are still physically able.
What I wish I could do: I like all of the things I do with time off (except some of the yard/house work). The one thing I would like to do more is travel. We travel some but not as much as I would wish. Maybe, hopefully, in retirement.
What do you need leisure to do for you? How can you tell if your leisure time has been successful?
At best, it pulls me away from work and other responsibilities. If I am successful, I finish the vacation, weekend, or relaxing evening with a feeling that I want to get back to work. If I’m dreading Monday, or bummed about returning from a trip, then it’s a signal that I didn’t have enough time off or didn’t relax and escape enough.
If you are retired, what do you consider to be your leisure activities? How do you separate those from other activity? Do you do anything that would –for a non-retired person—normally be considered “work”? What categories of activity characterize your day?
I’m not retired. But I’m old enough to be wondering how that will work.