EDLM: Quarantine Edition
It is Saturday, March 28. I have been sent home from work since Friday, March 20. Our announcement to the public indicates that we will be “Closed until further notice”, but internal communications have it that we will be out until at least April 6. I wouldn’t be at all surprised if it were longer. I am one of the lucky ones; we are being paid throughout this.
I cannot tell you how much I have needed this break. I am exhausted, and have been not-so-secretly wishing that the idea of a sabbatical existed beyond the walls of academia. This time off will not be the whole length of a semester, but I will gladly take 2 or 3 weeks.
A major event happened during the quarantine that has completely changed the course of the whole thing. On Wednesday, March 25, my mother in law passed away in her home in Eaton, IN. It floored everyone, and in the span of a 5-minute telephone conversation, my husband and I now have to deal with planning a funeral, settling affairs, and cleaning out a house, while admittedly still in a state of shock. As far as the quarantine, it has divided it up…I imagine it is rather like the first 10 days of September, 2001, vs. that month’s final 20 days, once things changed forever. She had issues with low blood oxygen and kidney failure, which led to respiratory troubles. I have been kind of panicky ever since…my work was slow to shut down, and we get a lot of public traffic. If I got it from one of those people because we didn’t shut down fast enough, and if I passed it to her…hell hath no fury.
As to the questions…
**I feel, given the course of events of March 25, that most of these answers deserve both a “before” and “after” response.
- How have your everyday routines changed because of the COVID-19 outbreak? Be specific; explain how you are operating now as opposed to before the outbreak.
Before – I have enjoyed, and very much needed, the peace of it. Things are not rushed. I have a to-do list, but no amount of work is absolutely due on any one day. This is a unique opportunity to catch up on several things, but there is no due date. I still get up in the morning and read with breakfast. But then we have decided that we will deep-clean 1 room per day. Typically we would waste our entire weekend from work trying to do it all, which completely ruins the restfulness that a weekend is supposed to provide. Within an hour of coming home the last day, my husband downloads Skyrim for X-Box 1. We have been playing through that again; it brings back fond memories of grad school (2010-2014) when we would play that during summer and winter breaks to unwind. I have forbade myself to check work email, and have not yet had a desire to do so.
After – Now we have to decide what work is being done each day. We pick 1 room of her house per day to go through. My husband is the sole heir and only child, so no one is really helping us go through things. We have had an offer by a friend of hers to haul things to Goodwill, since we don’t have a truck. That was kind. It only leaves us to take what we want, throw away what needs trashing, making Goodwill piles to be left in the house for them to take away, and figure out how to close her accounts, get her car back to the bank, etc. The suddenness of it makes the sadness so surreal.
- How have the following activities been impacted by the outbreak: eating, sleeping, working, entertainment, family and social interactions, sex, personal hygiene and grooming, media and news consumption.
Before – I can see how people can let things like this go, given the sort of orderless nature of life these days. I don’t knock that, but I think for me, having so much extra time not taken up by work is allowing me to take more care of everything else in life. The place is cleaner than it has ever been! Grocery runs have been interesting, but we eventually find food, and have been having some fun cooking more. On Saturday, the 21st, I blindly opened up “The Joy of Cooking”, vowing to prepare whatever dish I turn to. I opened to a recipe for butterscotch blondies, and I was sort-of amazed that it worked; I made butterscotch from scratch! We have devoted ourselves to only buying to-go food from local eateries; they really need the business. Sleeping has remained basically the same. Maybe I will get up a bit later (8:30-9). My hubby is the much more likely one to revert to being nocturnal. He typically sleeps 2a-11a now. Working is something I refuse to do during this time. I need away from it as much as possible now. Entertainment is basically the same; now I have more time to dig deep into the Criterion Channel, which features a trove of art and international film. I am ok with being away from people for a little while; I am really just enjoying the quiet and distance. I guess watching the president’s daily briefings is something of a spectator sport these days, so I have been taking part in that, and commiserating with friends as they post about the idiocy. Now that it has warmed up a bit, I am excited to get outside and be active. I have taken daily walks of 4 miles round-trip to my work and back (making sure to keep my distance from others, naturally).
After – All of this still pretty much holds true, but now I am doing this stuff in a bit of a daze, and with occasional bouts of profound grief. One of the things we need from her house is a bed, so we can finally finish our guest room; we have been procrastinating doing that for 2 years or so. This plays in to the “fix 1 room per day at home” thing. I had to go and buy a bookcase to get all the books off the floor in there to make room for the bed. I got a couple of stares at the store, basically saying “bookcases are non-essential…go home!.” I guess non-essential does not always mean frivolous. There is a bunch of bananas here on the counter; he wants to make banana bread with them. They are starting to go brown from our inability to stop what we are doing and get the bread baking. I guess I’m seeing metaphors all over the place now.
- How often have you been going out? For what reasons? What have you noticed while you were out?
Before – We have been staying in a lot, which is pretty typical. One major instance of not staying in happened on Sunday the 22nd. As I left work the last day, I commented to a friend “I need some chaos”. Boredom and wanderlust have been taking their toll of late, and this is the perfect opportunity to do a little something quirky and random. To go somewhere. After researching roadside attractions, I learned that 3/22 was Captain Kirk’s birthday. And his “eventual birthplace” in Iowa features a monument and statue. I am not a huge Star Trek fan, but this is cute. So, in the name of chaos, and just to say we did it, my hubby and I got up that morning, drove 6 ½ hours to Riverside, Iowa only to stay there for probably 20 minutes, take some pics of us in front of the monument on his birthday, and drive directly back. We were home by 10. As far as travel goes, this was still good social distancing. We were just in the car, and no one was around when we go there. There was supposed to be the annual birthday celebration, but it got cancelled for the virus. We had it all to ourselves. Indeed we had the entire roadway to ourselves. The beltway around Indy, as well as roads through decently-sized towns along the way (Peoria, the Quad Cities) were abandoned. It was very apocalyptic. We had learned just that morning that the state of Illinois had been shut down, so we were a little bit curious if we would be ticketed for simply being on the road, but we weren’t.
After – Now, we make daily trips to Eaton. Sometimes he goes alone; sometimes I come and help. I want to give him space if he needs it. A trip to the Rio Grande Valley, TX is imminent; it was her wish to have her ashes spread in the Gulf of Mexico down there.
- Tell us about something memorable that has happened in the course of ordinary activities since you started changing your routines.
Before – Honestly, things have been delightfully quiet and uneventful, save for Iowa. What a fun story that will be for whenever anyone asks if I’ve ever been to Iowa.
After – I know where in the house they found the body. She worked for Eaton EMTs, who came in to check on her, and as it turns out, were the ones to remove her. They left a rose on the floor right there, and I was the first one after that to enter the house. It weirds me out to be in there now. There were stains on the carpet. The house is going to my hubby, but we don’t want it. On April 1, I thought that I need something to do to fill time, and occupy my mind. I found this book “1001 Records You Must Hear Before You Die”. I decided to listen to them all, and create my own personal ranking of favorites, 1 through 1001. I listen to about 10 albums/day.
**at this point, it is now April 20. Our stay-at-home order went from April 6 to April 20 to May 1, and who knows from there. It seems now that I underestimated the “after” portion of the quarantine. She passed away only 5 days into the quarantine. Now, 26 days after, I think her death so defines the quarantine for us that the “before/after” thing doesn’t make sense. I’m giving that up here.**
- What has been negative about the ways your routines have changed in the last few weeks? What has been positive?
My sleeping habits have shifted. I usually sleep 11p-7a, but now it’s more like 1a-9a. It’s not that big of a difference, but I am realizing I like having my mornings available for quiet productivity. Having it be lunchtime right after you get fully awake isn’t fun for me. Not much else has been negative. As I said, I have needed this break badly.
- How would you describe your emotions in the last few weeks?
Peaceful! I bet you my blood pressure has gone down immensely. I am one of the lucky one not to be financially affected by this. We are still being paid 100% for work, even without having to do work from home. My student loans have received a coronavirus forbearance all the way until October, and the $0 monthly payments between now and then all count toward my Public Service Loan Forgiveness!!! The $1200 stimulus will go to replenish my savings account, and my hubby’s life insurance check has paid off his car. I hope it doesn’t sound petty to be glad of a life insurance payout, but it has been so helpful, and she would have loved the money to go to help us out. Financially and emotionally, this quarantine is a godsend for me. I know, I know, let’s not forget the public health crisis.
- How would you describe your thoughts in the last few weeks?
Thoughts are trying to stay away from work. But I am starting to wonder just how long we can stay closed and offer regular pay before they furlough or eliminate some people, or stop paying us. I wonder if my all-too-outward enjoyment of not being at work has been noticed yet by higher-ups in the company. If so, is that bad for me? Do they want staff itching to get back in? I wonder how long it will take to get the house cleaned out. The more we clear it, the more we discover things needing gotten rid of. I wonder how much weight I have gained. I wonder will it ever get above 60 degrees (would it kill Indiana to be 82 degrees for once?!?) How many of these albums will I listen to before I go back to work? I want to get to 300 at least; after I go back, I’ll probably only have time for 2-3 per day. (Currently listening to a Deep Purple album as I type this…I can really take it or leave it). I wonder if the chair we pulled from her house (the only decent bit of furniture she had) will ever stop smelling of cat pee…I coated it with baking soda and left it on the back porch TWICE. How long would I be happy being quarantined…if I could go a year like this, that’s bad, right? I didn’t think I was anti-social or anything.
- How do you think the experience of COVID-19 and the quarantine will impact the future, both for you and more broadly? Do you anticipate any positive changes in your life because of the experience?
I think folks in charge will enact more-or-less proper changes to public policy, but for the rank and file person, as soon as they see the McDonalds dining room open, all will be forgotten. People seem to basically not care about what is going on, they just want their stuff. Maybe I have been in Walmart one too many times, but all I see from people is disregard for public health and safety, and territoriality over the goods they want to get.
I hope I can go into work with some kind of fresh outlook. With his mom gone, we don’t have the safety net anymore. Before, if the bottom fell out, we could always go there. But now we don’t have that. Maybe this will make me be more careful with most every life decision…knowing that there is no plan B.
Everybody be well, and take care of each other. This pandemic takes people away from you. All too quickly, everyone’s stuff is going to get dropped off at a Goodwill’s back door. Do something meaningful with people you care about while you can.