There is definitely a difference for me in what I’ll call everyday leisure and vacation. Both are rewarding in different ways, although vacation is far more refreshing.
Particularly since COVID, I’ve been strict about separating my work/leisure boundaries. I consistently stop work within an hour of the same time. Sometimes it’s hard to know what to do with my leisure time in the evening. I used to work more at all hours, and I don’t have kids or a lot of other responsibilities. So, sometimes I feel that this leisure time is not well spent in that I may watch a TV show that I don’t really care for much or scroll around on my phone in ways that aren’t ideal. I have created the good habit of reading before bed, and I’ve found that keeping this along with a regular bed and wake time is helpful for sleeping patterns. Whether or not I spend this time in ways that are fully satisfying, I fully believe that my brain needs the break. As an academic, a lot of my work is brain heavy. So, while I may feel a little unsatisfied with that guilty pleasure Slavic mystery show on Netflix, I do feel that my brain is better able to function the next day than it used to be when I would work in the evenings.
Of course, everyday leisure is also spent with family and friends. The cats seem to know exactly when work ends. I spend most evenings with my wife, whether that is us doing the same thing or relaxing on our own near each other. Sometimes—although not as much since the pandemic—we see friends. When we do, we love to share meals and play games.
Vacation is entirely different. I’m not one to just take staycation. I grew up traveling a lot. My parents love their big trips. I’ve learned that as much as I love travel and seeing new places, going all over isn’t actually relaxing or enjoyable for me. The drive-to-the-state-border to get a picture of the sign and count it toward having been to all 50 states isn’t for me.
Our yearly vacation is up to the family cabin (camp) in Maine. I used to think it didn’t count as vacation if you visited relatives, and I still kind of think that, even though we sometimes see family up here. But it’s more refreshing to have it alone. I guess there’s something about solitude and vacation for me. I love solo travel. Travel with my wife is great as well, and I think I’d enjoy it with a close friend, but I’m not looking for a group, in general.
Vacation also can’t be short. It needs to be long enough to leave something of yourself behind. In Maine there is no more “work me.” I can’t be reached. I don’t check in on work for three weeks. Of course, I think about it sometimes, but rarely, and only when I want to. With the solitude is quiet. I feel like my body immediately relaxes when the sounds of civilization, the buzz of electricity goes away. Routines shift or go away, and I’m okay with it. I welcome it versus in regular everyday life where a shift in routine is almost always disruptive to me. In Maine, I take down all the clocks. If I could remove the clock from my phone or the phone had a “pictures only” mode, I’d do that.
I guess that is something consistent with other vacations, too. When I was in Barcelona alone, I’d walk and walk and only eat when I realized I needed to, paying little attention to time. In Maine it might be moving from the dock to the porch, going out on a kayak, taking a nap. A consistent theme is being able to follow whatever instincts I like. Perhaps that’s why I’ve abandoned the super structured vacations of my youth. I suppose in this way one thing vacation does is connect me with my own agency, my own choices, my own desires. When things call to me in absence of external forces, then I know they are important.