Monday, April 04, 2022
7:15 AM
The curtain was not completely closed, and a ray of light woke me up. That’s fine though, I was having some sort of dream I’d rather not have been a part of. I lay there for 45 minutes trying to wake up enough to stand. This Monday won’t be too bad; I have a bit of a short day at work, and I have a fun thing happening tonight.
8:00 AM
I get up, feed the cats, order a little breakfast (ordering it since we’re out of coffee), and find a movie to watch. I am doing a movie-watching challenge in 2022: to watch 1 movie from each year, 1920 to the present. This morning, before I have to be at work at 11, is Funeral Parade of Roses, from 1969. Of course, this is the time when every AA battery in the house is dead, so I can’t get the TV on. After a few minutes, I have 8 of them recharging, and I’m watching the movie on my laptop. That’s fine, as the TV doesn’t have archive.org on it anyway, and that’s where the movie is. Breakfast arrives, and we’re off. The one cat is keeping me company. I don’t think he likes his new roommate…or rather, I don’t think she likes him. We got cat 2 last week. At one point, 20 minutes into the movie, I get up for the bathroom, and I see cat 2 lurking in the hallway, seemingly trying really hard to get to the food bowls, but she knows cat 1 is in there. The hubs is still asleep; I really enjoy, no, need these quiet private corners of the day.
9:00 AM
I hear the neighbor’s dog barking, then a rustling sound outside the door. Then a knock. I remember the grocery order was set to be delivered at 9, and the driver hit it right to the minute. I pause the movie, drag the stuff in, and resume. I’ll let him put things away when he gets up. The batteries are not done charging yet. Cat 2 attempts to eat breakfast, but hisses and runs off when cat 1 comes over to say good morning.
10:20 AM
With the movie over, and the hubby up and leaving out for work, it’s time for me to get ready. I get clothes for the day, shower, brush teeth, deodorize, put product in my hair, and all the while I stress about how little money is in my account. Yesterday, I raided the change bowl and took it to a Coinstar. I now have $33 in my account until Friday, making sure there’s at least that much, in case something little like Audible, Acorns, or the Criterion Channel hits between now and Friday. It’s amazing how I am barely not drowning, all the while earning around triple what the average median income is for people in Muncie. With $13,000 in credit card bills, $3000 left on my car, its annual registration due this month, and the ever-present $203,000 in student debt hanging over my head, it’s a wonder I don’t just jump off a bridge or something. That $1,200 every 2 weeks I get doesn’t go that far. How do people make the decision to have kids at this point in history? I’m 44 and still renting, unable to get approved for a mortgage (given the student loans counting against what they think I am able to pay, even though any mortgage payment will be well under what my rent is). Of course, it is a terrible time to be buying a house anyway, so there’s that at least.
…anyway, by 10:50 I am out the door for work.
11:50 AM
My lunch will be at 1 pm. I am settling into the office, sorting out some early-week duties. I have a little bit of a full plate this week before my 4-day weekend starts on Thursday at 6 PM. I have very little time in the office today, so I’m needing to cram as much into today as I can. Firing off emails in-between typing lines here. I also found a little time to find a good image for the character I will be playing in our new D&D story, coming up in the next couple of months.
1:30 PM
Lunchtime is hectic today. I have 3 or 4 people trying to chat (which is a good thing really), and I’m cooking lunch, to try and save money this week instead of eating out. I also am trying to return the call I received from New Castle on Friday. I am 98% sure it is a job offer. I need to get away from my supervisor, because everyone knows that no one learns or grows as professionals underneath them. But, the potential job in New Castle pays probably $3000-$5000 less per year than I currently get. This on top of it is increasing my commute from 4 minutes to 42 minutes. With gas what it is, I really can’t afford to take any kind of pay cut for this new job. I fear I will have to turn them down, even though it would be a nice career shift otherwise. Maybe they will surprise me with an increased starting salary, given that I have an advanced degree in the field that the person I would be replacing never got…but I kind of doubt it. I called both this morning, and again at lunch just now, and got only voicemails both times. I’m not sure what’s going on over there. I finish making lunch, sit down, and eat it. Luckily, I find the 2 cats snuggled up against each other on the bed; they are starting to get along! An ex-underling, now with basically my exact position up in Portland, is messaging me, telling me about how 1 of her underlings is an insufferable sycophant. I guess she got in trouble for finally going overboard with her famous Resting Bitch Face to this girl. I do dishes before I head back to the office.
5:30 PM
The last part of my workday was kind of restless. I have a lot of things to do but they all sort of got into each other’s way and I couldn’t just sit down and do any of them. But eventually, I make my way to 5:30, and I go home. Tomorrow when I get in I will quickly make a to-do list, and set about getting stuff done. New Castle called me back! They explained that they are interested in taking me on, but it would definitely be at the advertised rate, which would be less money. They said they understand completely if that would be an issue. We agreed that I would take a day and call them back, letting them know for sure.
7:00 PM
It’s now time for the book club I participate in. It sounds very nerdy, and that’s ok, but it’s actually an all-horror book club that for now meets over zoom. This month we read a bunch of poetry from Edgar Allen Poe. Not that many people were into it, but the meeting itself was enjoyable enough. We will all try again next month, after reading this one book about zombies.
8:00 PM
The hubs was making dinner as the book club was ending, and after it was done, we sat down and ate while talking about our days. He is having some very rough times at work; many people he works with are being dumb about both the pandemic and other things, and he’s losing his drive to serve the organization. He said he had a conversation with his boss about it, and she sympathizes. I tell him about my phone call with New Castle, and he understands the idea of me not wanting to take less money for this new job. He is ok with me not taking it. We are very aware of each other’s level of happiness or lack of happiness and are trying to be there for each other in our issues. Our anniversary is this weekend.
9:00 PM
He goes and plays video games while I mess around on my laptop. I plan a bit for the D&D game I run. I put on Cat TV for the 2 cats while I am listening to Spotify. Another friend of mine messages me with very real money issues of her own. She runs a very cute small business here in town and apparently they are having a string of bad months. She is doubting the future of the business, and is wondering if maybe she just needs to give it up and get a regular 9-5. I really hope things turn around for them.
11:15 PM
The hubs comes out and tells me he’s heading to bed. I tell him I’ll be along in a bit. I look around and notice the place is kind of a mess, so I will try and do something about that tomorrow, either in the morning or when I come home for lunch again. I think about how basically no one I know is having a fun time, and I don’t know if that is some effect of the pandemic lingering on, or what. Everyone is struggling, even people that make decent money. I was telling my fearful small-business-friend yesterday that the pandemic has kind of broken me, because it has demonstrated that so many people around you simply don’t give a shit about other people. It’s very lonely, knowing how many people simply see you as an obstacle to be overcome. It makes me want to hug the few good ones tighter. In this last year or so, I’ve not wanted to re-enter society. But maybe I will use these friends here to help me hold on to what’s good…what there is of it.