I woke up at 8 am and immediately started blasting music to stay awake. I jumped in the shower but the bathroom light was out again so I showered in the dark until it came on with a sudden, blinding intensity. I tried on a number of different outfits but had a hard time deciding on anything– it all made me look too fat, too childish, too weird. Being a woman is most frustrating in the morning. When I finally found the shirt I wanted to wear it was badly wrinkled, and I don’t own a clothing iron, so I hooked up my hair straightener and went to town. Eventually I changed my mind again and settled on a dress. Minimum effort. I missed the bus again this morning so I had to drive in; getting there late means that there are basically no spots left and all of the latecomers arrive at once, circling the lot like vultures until they either find a space or give up. I blast my music while I walk to the office like always, trying to drown out the incoming stress of the day. The bagel I left in the office fridge yesterday calls my name. When I arrive, W and I talk for a bit about a TV show that I got him into before he leaves for class. I print out a sign to tape to the back of my desk chair that says “PLEASE DO NOT TALK TO ME. I HAVE NO SELF-CONTROL AND WILL TALK TO YOU FOR TWO HOURS AND GET NO WORK DONE.” I spent some time researching hotels in Chicago for a trip next week before reserving one after a considerable amount of time– I’ve never been to a big city without a real grown up before. I’m sure that everything will go horribly. My friend A called to ask if I wanted anything from Starbucks before she rolled into the office, but I said no. I took a bit to scan the bookshelves in the office for a textbook or two that would help me write a paper, but I couldn’t find what I was looking for. A and I went to Chava’s for lunch and when we got back I left for work. I got my monthly visitor right as I walked in the doors so I had to run home to get what I needed, especially my prescription pain medication. Like an idiot, I took the bus instead of driving my own car. The buses are notoriously unreliable, no matter what the app says about timeliness and schedules, so the whole trip took almost an hour. It was so hot that I kept following the shifting shade from a tree so that I could stay out of the sun. While I was waiting I got a call from Lucina Hall about an appointment but I didn’t answer– I don’t plan on going back. I finally got back to work at noon and stayed until 4, correcting errors in the text of county histories. At 4 I walked back to the office and did some work before laying out on the couch for a quick nap that never happened. At 6:30 I went to class and spent the next two and a half hours fighting off a migraine. At 9 we were let out, and I walked back to the commuter parking lot with An. I went home and ate leftovers for dinner while watching videos online. I took my medicine, laid under my weighted blanket, and spent two hours trying to fall asleep.
